Complex supporters VS Those who like soccor pub

[Aileron]

As promised, there should be two active RPGs running at the same time.

 

This one is one of the humerous/nonsensical variety.

 

Setting:

 

Fred's Weapons, Science Fiction Machines, and Lovible Pets Shop on Elm Street.

 

CreatiX was thinking about buying a pet turtle, when he was approached by a mob of people who like soccor pub. They soon picked up shivs and started attacking him.

 

However, fellow customers who support complex rushed to his defense. A riot ensued. Police were called, but rather than risk life and limb fighting two dangerous mobs, they decided to just take a donut break.

 

Rules:

 

1) No attacking people who haven't posted here. (including CreatiX)

2) No roleplaying the actions of other people.

3) The Pet Shop is indestructible

4) No nuking everybody...one target at a time.

 

Notes:

 

1) If you die, you may use one of the Science Fiction machines to ressurrect yourself.

2) Shiplifting is illegal...but the police are off taking a donut break.

 

 

 

*grabs an axe and waits for those who hate complex to enter the Pet Shop*

[Tex]

[Juda$ Prie$t]

* Walks in Pet Shop as Tex is walking out, bust's out glock, 2 shots.. tex is dead

* walks out of the pet store.

[Aileron]

Awwww Judas, no style....

 

 

*sets up a timer to a ray gun, bucket of acid, block of C4, spikes shooting out of the ground, a falling blade, a flamethrower, and a trapdoor leading to a tank of pirhannas*

*grabs Tex's body and puts in one of the ressurection machines*

*sets ressurection machine so that Tex gets ressurrected the same moment the time runs out*

 

~ding~

 

*Tex gets revived*

*Tex gets zapped, melted, blown up, impaled, sliced in half, burnt to a crisp, and eaten by pirhannas*

 

 

*uses axe to chop sign into small bits.*

[Aileron]

Erm...who's next?

[Tex]

Eat that !@#$%^&*!

[Greased_Lightning]

*enters shop, then realizes I'M NAKED!!!! and then wakes up in a cold sweat*

[Guest Guest]

*runs into shop with a sign saying "i love complex"*

*builds a miniature fort out of cardboard boxes*

*awaits the enemy*

 

...

 

*gets bored and shoots Aileron in the back of the head*

[Aileron]

4) No nuking everybody...one target at a time.

 

jeez Tex, you don't remember things very well, do you?

 

 

*Climbs out from inside one of the reptile tanks mounted on the wall [and thus part of the pet shop - see rule 3]*

Wow, who would have thought a quarter inch of gl!@#$%^&* could be so indestructible?

*sees Greased wake up from sleepwalking into the pet shop in the nude*

*ignores*

[CreatiX]

*Out of the noise ppl suddenly hear some1 reloading a M4A1*

 

*CreatiX appears out of the fog leaning with right arm on the "i love complex" sign and the m4A1 behind his head*

 

*matrix reloaded soundtrack somehow rises*

[SeVeR]

*Kicks the sign out from Creatix's grasp and he falls flat on his face*

 

*The m4 behind Creatixs head goes off and his brains get splattered over the window making it impossible for anyone to see into the shop*

 

*the matrix soundtrack screams to a halt and is replaced by Nelson's "Hahaaa" from the Simpsons*

 

*SeVeR picks up the sign and says in a gentle but serious tone "I did it for complex... i did it for you all"*

 

*He exits the shop and is met by a hail of bullets from Creatix's secret allies!*

 

*As he draws his last breath, spluttering on blood, he whispers, "ah crap i didn't think of that"*

 

*God grants SeVeR angel status and wings!*

[Aileron]

*ties up SeVeR's corpse*

*puts SeVeR's corpse into ressurection machine*

*ressurrects SeVeR with one of the machines*

*SeVeR loses angel status and wings, and is ressurected into a body that is tied up*

*uses a mysterious science fiction machine in the back of the shop to open a one way gateway to !@#$%^&**

*throws SeVeR into gateway*

*closes gateway*

*breaks the handle off of machine so that it can't be turned on again*

 

*ressurects CreatiX*

 

 

oh, I didn't notice the guest

 

*taps the bullet-proof helmet I'm wearing*

*grabs a nearby duck and throws it at the guest*

"Cleanup in aisle 3!" is announced over the loudspeaker

*storeclerk comes by and cleans up the guest's entrails*

 

 

 

*arrives from next post via time machine*

*stops SeVeR from strangling myself*

*throws SeVeR in electric eel tank*

*locks eel tank shut* [lock is part of tank, tank is part of pet shop, all of which are indestructible]

*uses time machine to take me back to my next post*

[Greased_Lightning]

*enters shop, shoots all the pets, making this just a shop* MWAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAH!!!!!

 

*eats a grilled chicken sandwich*

[SeVeR]

*SeVeR wakes up finding himself being poked by a giant fork.*

 

*...Gets hard*

 

*His !@#$%^&* is strong enough to break one of the ropes that Aileron used*

 

*Satan panics and turns tail to run*

 

*Jesus finishes his popcorn and runs over to punch Satan in the face but is met by Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini and Ghandi first... they wrestle Jesus to the ground and gang-rape him.*

 

*Meanwhile SeVeR grabs the giant rope hanging down from the ceiling and finds a trap door at the end of it leading to the surface.*

 

*He makes his way back to the shop and disguises himself as a storeclerk only to find that some entrails need to be cleaned up*

 

*The entrails make the perfect weapon to strangle Aileron with, so he wraps them round Ail's kneck and throws them him into the resurrection machine...*

 

*A weird Aileron/Guest hybrid is created... *

[Aileron]

AHHHH!!! I CAN'T DECIDE WHETHER I LUV OR HATE COMPLEX NOW!!!

 

*runs around the bar randomly*

*trips*

*falls into time machine that takes me back to my last post*

 

 

 

*arrives from last post via time machine*

*notices I'm no longer a Ail/guest hybrid...must be a paradox.*

*sees SeVeR is still in eel tank, though the eels are dead.*

*notices five strange rings on a shelf in the back*

*uses five rings to summon Captain Planet (1990 era cartoon show)*

 

Captain Planet lays the smackdown on Greased for killing all those animals.

Captain Planet leaves

 

*puts all the animals in the ressurection machines*

[SeVeR]

*SeVeR thrashes around in the eel tank until he realises that when he disguised himself as a storeclerk he also stashed a portable matter-melding device up his anus*

 

*he finds the button and presses it*

 

*SeVeR becomes one with the shop so he then activates the power on the resurrection device but inverts the field*

 

*the shop turns into SeVeR and everyone inside the shop is now in SeVeR's body*

 

*All the anti-complex supporters however are left outside wondering "what the !@#$%^&*?!"*

 

*SeVeR tramples the anti-complex supporters to death and eats their corpses*

[Aileron]

erm...wth? In your first post you killed CreatiX...now you support complex? Which side are you on?

 

 

*crawls around inside SeVeR's body*

*finds the ressurection machine*

*resets the field to normal*

*the Pet Shop is seperated from SeVeR and returns to normal*

*SeVeR pops out of the ressurecton machine*

 

*throws hamster at SeVeR*

*hamster crawls up inside SeVeR's pants and bites off his _____*

[SeVeR]

creatix was a traitor so i had to kill him to save complex.

 

*SeVeR emerges from the machine jerking off from the pleasure of having so many complex supporters inside him*

 

*The rabid hamster, which is actually a rabbit in disguise smells a carrot in his underpants but buries its teeth painfully into SeVeR's..... finger*

 

*SeVeR quickly pulls his hands out of his pants to find a hamster attached and unveils the truth that it was infact a rabbit*

 

*The pet shop is sued by the anti-complex supporters for disguising kamikazi rabbits as hamsters*

 

*Only superman can save us now, but thankfully we abducted Lois Lane and buried her in kryptonite so he is always buzzing around somewhere nearby*

 

*Superman arrives and switches all the fake hamsters for real ones, thereby ending all the confusion*

 

[Aileron]

*Aileron is busy trying to hump Lois Lane through the kryptonite when superman shows up so superman gets really mad and laser-eyes Ailerons legs off*

 

*throws a lump of kyptonite at Superman, knocking him unconcious*

*crawls over the the medic 200 machine, which quickly reattaches all limbs*

 

Well, if there are no anti-complex ppl here, this is going to be very boring.

 

*Finds Tex's body*

*ressurects Tex*

*throws rabbit at Tex*

*rabbit bites off all of Tex's fingers*

[SeVeR]

*laughs at Tex trying to activate the medic machine with no fingers*

*finds Creatix's m4 and bashes Tex over the head with it until he's unconscious*

*ties up Tex and puts him in the cage of the giant 40 foot python*

*kills all the mice we have in the shop and pours the blood over Tex*

*waits eagerly*

[CreatiX]

*CreatiX, as he owns the shop, starts to get pissed and wants a final fight between the two sides to get a decision (has ganges of new york start fight in mind)*

*resurrects all dead and warps them to their sides + spreads out animal bodies all over the place*

*adds smoke and dust and a burning car to the scene*

*A giant counter appears and starts a count down on the final fight*

 

So this is how the situation looks like:

 

*Outside the shop we have all anti-complex*

*Inside the shop we have all the complex defenders*

*The front window of the shop is broken, everywhere lies gl!@#$%^&* pieces and the shop cant be called a shop anymore howsoever*

 

Every1 got 1 main weapon and a secondary weapon to choose b4 the final fight starts.

 

*Creatix gets his M4A1 back and choses a chain saw as secondary weapon*

[SeVeR]

*Arms self with a sniper rifle as a primary weapon and a shotgun as a secondary*

*Takes a defensive position on top of the shop and covers self in army paint*

*Finds some grenades on the roof*

*...Puts Commando on the DVD player and imagines being Arnie*

[Aileron]

[jeez...that's a little bit of overkill...the only person who doesn't like complex who posted here was Tex]

CreatiX...I didn't know your name was Fred.

 

Primary Weapon: Slingshot

Secondary Weapon: Rusty S!@#$%^&*

[CreatiX]

*count-down timer is at 4*

 

*Tex should find some allies or !@#$%^&* have a problem*

 

*Puts on armor, buys flash and smoke grenades*

[Aileron]

*puts on some thick leather gloves*

 

Alright, I'm armored up.