Pirates vs. Ninjas

[Aileron]

Japan, 1500ish AD

The fishing villiage of Podunkiawa is a small quite coastal villiage. The economy of this villiage mostly consists of catching fish and selling to larger towns. Other than a pretty good view of Mt. Fuji, the only other attraction is the Podunkiawa Dojo of !@#$%^&*kickingness, trainer of the finest ninjas, !@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*ins, and lawyers in the area.

 

Until, one day, the pirate ship Gonnasackyatowna set anchor in the harbor. She was bound for the Caribbean but had gotten lost. After throwing the navigator overboard, the Captain spyed in his spygl!@#$%^&* and noticed that there wasn't anything in this villiage worth sacking, until he spyed the ninja dojo.

 

Frenzied by the potential of sacking valuble ninja loot as well as fighting their enternal enemies, the pirates went to the boats and attacked the villiage.

 

 

 

Alright, the rules of this game are simple:

 

1) You must either be a pirate or a ninja...to make it easier on ppl to keep track, start each post with whichever side you are on.

 

2) Pirates and Ninjas fight each other exclusively...no backstabbing allowed. Also, no peacefull discussion either.

 

3) Stay somewhat in line with your class...for example, ninjas aren't known for pulling out death rays and blowing up buildings.

 

4) Subspace rules on death apply here...you don't really die, you just respawn back at the pirate ship or ninja dojo.

 

5) As such, the ship and dojo are both indestructible.

[Aileron]

[Pirate]

 

Aileron the Red lept out of the boats just as the pirates were coming aground, his trusty sabre in one hand and his not-so-trusty flintlock in the other. A round of cannon fire from the Gonnasackyatowna hit the villiage, sending firey debris everywhere.

 

Ail noticed a stick on fire and picked it up, using it as a makeshift torch, he set several huts on fire on the way to the dojo. When he arrived, he attempted to light the dojo itself on fire, but the building would for some reason not catch fire and his torch fizzled out.

 

By this time a group of pirates were already surrounding the dojo. Ail shouted into the building..."Alright ye ninja s!@#$%^&*! Come out here and fight, or are you too cowardly?"

[The Maurauder]

How the !@#$%^&* do you get lost and end up in Japan instead of the Carribean? There's a continent and an ocean between the two... or can the pirate ship fly?

[Paine]

[Ninja] [/ninja]

 

*Jumps out of dojo in a flashy arrangement of spins and flips, before pulling out a pair of swords and crossing them in an "I think I'm cool" fashion*

 

*runs towards aileron, very fast*

 

*Suddenly stops and pulls backwards and upwards, placing a foot squarely in the balls of the pirate aileron*

[The Maurauder]

*Caps paine in the face*

 

Doughnut head.

[Aileron]

*gets kicked in balls*

*falls over on ground*

 

OW!

 

*gets up*

*runs into dojo*

*sees Paine respawn inside*

 

?????

"Aren't you DEAD?"

 

*slice's Paine's head off with saber*

[Paine]

[respawns behind aileron]

[farts... loudly and very stanky]

[Greased_Lightning]

*pulls out a death ray and blows up the dojo, then turns it on-*

 

Greased_Lightning left arena

 

^Banned entered arena

[Manus Celer Dei]

3)  Stay somewhat in line with your class...for example, ninjas aren't known for pulling out death rays and blowing up buildings.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

*pulls out a death ray and blows up the dojo, then turns it on-*

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

were u lern inglesh? kan u nott c teh rulz?

[Greased_Lightning]

^Banned> *spies the humorless Manus and turns ray gun on him and-*

^Banned left arena

[The Cubbies]

[NINJAAAAAA]

 

Cubbies, a ninja name that strikes terror into all that fear little bears and/or that spot where you put your lunch box in kindergarten, leaps out the chimney of the dojo. Instantly he is rewarded *super by the staff gods watching from above. From the ceiling he turns on his cloak/invisibility and throws shurikens at any pirate and lay-person in sight.

 

Oh NO! He couldn't see his own foot and stepped on the loose shingle! He slips to the edge of the celing where he remains hanging by one finger, still invisible.

[Paine]

[ninja]

 

[attaches to cubbies and throws shurikens]

[Aileron]

[Pirate]

 

*Deflects Shurikans with sword*

*raises flintlock pistol*

*fires at Paine*

(miss)

Dammit!!

*throws pistol at Paine*

(Knocks out both Paine and Cubbies, because Paine is attached to cubbies)

*grabs a chest of ninja gold and runs back to the ship*

[Paine]

[Ninjarr!]

 

*wakes up*

 

*grabs flamethrower*

 

*legs it outside*

 

*sets fire to aileron, kicks him in the head, and takes the treasure back*

[True Human]

(Pirate)

 

With all the other Pirates knowing that I am dressed in ninja clothes, I sneak into the dojo to spawn kill all those son's of ninjas!

[flamingstarch]

[pirate]

 

team kills true human because i am a noob pirate and don't know what i am doing

[True Human]

*Stares at flamingstarch while he screams in my face, wondering why he thinks killing me by starting at me very intensely is going to work.*

[Aileron]

*gets bucket of water and puts out the flames*

*notices a rope dangling from a post*

*grabs the rope and swings on it*

*travels in a circle back to Paine*

*slashes Paine with sabre*

*grabs treasure again*

*carries treasure back to ship*

*drops treasure in cargo hold*

 

*goes back up on deck and mans one of the cannons*

*fires a round of grapeshot through the door into the ninja dojo, killing all ninjas who just respawned*

*starts loading cannon again*

[flamingstarch]

*gets killed*

*respawns as a ninja*

*grab an auto shotgun*

*shots a passing by miami dolfan with the ball*

*swings to aileron*

*turns around cannon*

*steals the sabre from aileron with recently aquired ninja skillz*

*kills aileron*

*spawn kills miami dolfan*

 

*gets team switched*

 

 

"!@#$%^&* IT!!"

[Aileron]

*respawns*

*loads flamingstarch into cannon*

*fires flamingstarch at ninja dojo*

*flamingstarch impales 5 ninjas yet somehow lives through it*

*grabs saber back*

*finds another flintlock pistol*

*runs back to dojo to grab more treasure*

[flamingstarch]

*rubs head*

 

"OWWWW"

[Aileron]

[(settings of topic note:) By this time an intense battle of NPC pirates and NPC ninjas is occuring at the door of the dojo. Some of the huts in the village are on fire, and most of the villigers have fled for their lives, some going to the hills and some to the dojo.]

 

*notices the huge battle at the door*

*attempts to go in through the paper walls of the building*

*tries to cut the paper wall with saber, but the building is indestructable according to topic rules*

 

wth????

 

*notices an impact crater from cannon fire at the base of the building*

*gets inside and quickly digs a whole using 1337 pirate digging skillz* (pirates can dig real well, because they bury treasure a lot)

*digs a tunnel leading to inside the dojo*

*uses tunnel*

 

*notices sign, which for some strange reason is in English, "please take off shoes inside dojo" *

*attempts to cut sign in two*

*sword breaks - the sign is part of the dojo and hence indestructable*

 

wth?????

 

*grabs indestructable sign and uses it as a weapon*

*smacks recently respawned ninjas with sign*

*each smack sends the victim flying and knocks their shoes off as well*

*fights my way towards another stash of treasure*

[True Human]

*rips off his pirate uniform and shows his TRUE self*

 

 

*secret undercover ninja (me) throws shurikens at all pirates boarding the ship*

 

*Takes on all comers*

[Aileron]

[There aren't any pirates boarding the ship - they are all trying to get inside the dojo]

 

 

Suddenly Ailer hears a woman's cry for health.

 

*runs full speed and rams bamboo door*

*door doesn't break due to being indestructable*

oWwW

*opens door nicely*

*sees hot pirate chick being held hostage by a fat balding NPC ninja*

*knocks ninja with sign - ninja goes flying into the ceiling, then falls back down unconcious - his shoes fly off out a window, and hit true human on the head*

 

*unties hot pirate chick from her bounds*

*carries hot pirate chick back to boat*

*sets her one her feet just as true human's shurikans come flying my way*

*blocks shurikans with sign*

*smacks true human with sign*

 

*true human goes flying, but his shoes stay on his feet*

*rereads sign - notes the "inside dojo" at the end of it*

*drops "please take off shoes inside dojo" sign*

*goes to cabin, grabs that "please take off pants here" sign*

*is about to rejoin battle, but is stopped by the hot pirate chick*

*goes back into cabin with hot pirate chick*

 

censored

 

*goes back to rejoin battle*

[flamingstarch]

DOUBLE CENSORED

 

*done with hot pirate chick 2*

 

Alier agrees with flaming pirate to "hot pirate chick swap"

 

Alier's hot pirate chick sucks!!!

(leave to the imagination)