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I think you lack personal feelings. Your feral side conflicts with your logical sapien side. You want to fuck and reproduce subconsciously but your logical psychological mind is saying cut off your balls for some reason you may not even be aware of. You say it's because you jerk off too much. However I do believe there's a deeper meaning you should seriously look at. One of those would be the causes of your masturbation, which could be a psychological reason that you're not aware of yet. If you were to discover this cause I think you can find your cure that would be a lot less painful.

 

Another cause would be because you're a psychological masochist. You say some very depressing and personal things about yourself. Cutting off your balls would not be a physical masochistic behavior but a psychological masochistic behavior because you will be unable to reproduce for the rest of your life. This will increase your depression in the long run (therefor feeding your subconscious mind) even though you may think it's a logical solution to your issue now. Your subconscious mind is just probably trying to contort you into making you more depressed due to personal issues (which like i said, might be repressed and/or you might be unaware of) or maybe there's even some chemical imbalance which controls your serotonin receptors from depressive actions even subconsciously .

 

Overall, I believe consulting a professional about this issue would be the best course of action even if you truly think you're making the right decision. The subconscious psyche can be a real pain in the ass because even though your sapien logics are telling you to do it, they're unaware of the subconscious's feral desires.

 

In either cases, I wish you the best of luck and hope you make the right decision in the long run.

Edited by Xog

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