Amusing

[NBVegita]

HIGH SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007

 

Scenario 1:

 

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

 

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

 

2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

 

 

Scenario 2:

 

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

 

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

 

2007 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

 

 

Scenario 3:

 

Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

 

1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

 

2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

 

 

Scenario 4:

 

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

 

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

 

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

 

 

Scenario 5:

 

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

 

1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.

 

2007 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

 

 

Scenario 6:

 

Pedro fails high school English.

 

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

 

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

 

Scenario 7:

 

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

 

1957 - Ants die.

 

2007 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

 

 

Scenario 8:

 

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

 

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

 

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

 

It is sad how we've become.

[Aceflyer]

Just some mildly amusing tongue-in-cheek humor. Thanks NBV.

[SeVeR]

We need to get back to traditional family values! I want to keep mah gun in mah truck and for people to be fine with it cos we be hunting in ye ol' woods out dum there. How can ye stomach these dang liberals, or liberachis, when they act like we can't trust no body! Yeehaw!

[NBVegita]

I mean it is a conundrum you are in, people nowadays want the rights we had when the constitution was created, back when we trusted people as a whole, yet want laws to protect us assuming that you can't trust anyone.

 

Overall I feel that we're an over coddled society which has evolved to resemble a spoiled child throwing a temper tantrum.

[Tigron-X]

I thought you might enjoy this:

 

 

1895 TEST

 

This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 from Salina, Kansas. It was taken from the original document on file at the Smoky Valley Genealogical Society and Library in Salina, Kansas and reprinted by the Salina Journal.

 

8th Grade Final Exam: Salina, Kansas - 1895

 

Grammar (Time, one hour)

 

1. Give nine rules for the use of Capital Letters.

2. Name the Parts of Speech and define those that have no modifications.

3. Define Verse, Stanza and Paragraph.

4. What are the Principal Parts of a verb? Give Principal Parts of do, lie, lay and run.

5. Define Case, Illustrate each Case.

6. What is Punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of Punctuation.

7-10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.

 

 

Arithmetic (Time, 1.25 hours)

 

1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.

2. A wagon box is 2 ft. deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?

3. If a load of wheat weighs 3942 lbs., what is it worth at 50 cts. per bu, deducting 1050 lbs. for tare?

4. District No. 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?

5. Find cost of 6720 lbs. coal at $6.00 per ton.

6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.

7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. long at $.20 per inch?

8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.

9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance around which is 640 rods?

10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt.

 

U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)

 

1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided.

2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.

3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.

4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.

5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.

6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.

7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton, Bell, Lincoln, Penn, and Howe?

8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, and 1865?

 

Orthography (Time, one hour)

 

1. What is meant by the following: Alphabet, phonetic orthography, etymology, syllabication?

2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?

3. What are the following, and give examples of each: Trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals?

4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u'.

5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e'. Name two exceptions under each rule.

6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.

7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: Bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, super.

8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: Card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.

9. Use the following correctly in sentences, Cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane, vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.

10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical

marks and by syllabication.

 

Geography (Time, one hour)

 

1. What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?

2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas?

3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?

4. Describe the mountains of N.A.

5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia, Odessa, Denver, Manitoba, Hecla, Yukon, St. Helena, Juan Fermandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco.

6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S.

7. Name all the republics of Europe and give capital of each.

8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?

9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.

10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give inclination of the earth.

 

I doubt anyone today could pass this test, even if you modernized the outdated questions.

Edited March 2, 2009 by Tigron-X

[SeVeR]

In a country where money has become more important, people are finding more ways to get ahold of it. I blame unchecked capitalism, in much the same way i blame it for the banking crisis. We are finally hearing how the laws that came after the Great Depression were silenty removed, and how the critics were silenced altogether. It's ridiculous how all this comes to light now when the damage is already done. Hopefully the economy will recover and these laws will be put back into place to stop it happening again... at least for another 75 years.

 

The banks had to get involved in the credit bubble whether they liked it or not, otherwise they would have fallen behind. This is why we need laws in place to stop abusers of the system from facking it up for everyone else.

Edited March 3, 2009 by SeVeR

[Aceflyer]

The test doesn't seem all that difficult.

 

Further, there is some doubt as to whether the test was actually required for eighth grade graduation.

[Bak]

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

 

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

 

Are these stories made up or do they reflect actual news stories? Anyone can make up stories.

[Aceflyer]

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

 

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

 

Are these stories made up or do they reflect actual news stories? Anyone can make up stories.

 

I imagine that they are most likely completely made up. At the very least, they would be based only very loosely on actual news stories.

[PoLiX]

It's not the fact they're made up or not, but the fact they are really believeable or even questionable thanks to the state of our society. Rather then a "that'd never happen" we find ourselves asking "where'd this happen?"

[FMBI]

Oh, for the golden age of the past, back when depressions took place every 10 years, states exercised nearly-tyrannical authority over their subjects, and the central government barely existed to enforce the very protections of the Constitution. Golden days.

 

As for the "test" - that's pure bullshit. That, and its family of spam letters, have been debunked over and over.

[Aceflyer]

It's not the fact they're made up or not, but the fact they are really believeable or even questionable thanks to the state of our society. Rather then a "that'd never happen" we find ourselves asking "where'd this happen?"

 

Come on... I'd have a hard time saying any of those 'scenarios' are "really believable or even questionable thanks to the state of our society." Let's take a look:

 

Scenario 1:

 

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

 

2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

 

The shotgun is in Jack's truck's gun rack. Considering that Jack presumably has not waved the gun around in a classroom or hallway or used it to threaten anyone, and assuming that Jack does not have a prior history of violent or psychotic behavior, why would the FBI be called in? At most there might be some concern on the part of school officials or local police officers, but traumatized students? Give me a break.

 

Scenario 2:

 

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

 

2007 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

 

WTF? A SWAT team to break up a two-party fistfight?

 

Scenario 5:

 

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

 

2007 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

 

The keyword here is 'aspirin'. Again this is a 'WTF'-inducing scenario. Why would any sane principal expel a student from school for having aspirin? Granted, there might be drug concerns, but once the identity of the pills as aspirin pills is established, there would be no reason to expel the student or investigate said student for possession of illegal drugs or weapons.

 

Scenario 8:

 

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

 

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

 

This is just completely ludicrous.

[»Lynx]

It's nice to see that Aceflyer still has a hard time taking a joke.

[NBVegita]

lol.

 

The statements are obvious exaggerations with truth behind the statement.

 

1) No the FBI would not be called in. I do know for a fact back at my highschool they would have locked down the school, arrested the person who owned the vehicle, impounded both his car and gun and yes actually offer "councelling" to students. Not exactly the FBI, but not too far off.

 

2) Again, SWAT team doesn't arrive, but back when I was in school they were both suspended and both, if old enough, charged with assault...thats why kids learned you don't fight on school grounds you go across the street

 

3) Is completely true.

 

4) The rest of the psychological stuff could be an exaggeration, but overall the kids would get taken from the father for child abuse and put into homes.

 

5) You wouldn't get arrested but back in my HS you couldn't bring any medication into school, or you would be suspended for a week and your parents had to meet with the staff. After a second offence you risked getting expelled. The only medication you were allowed to take in school had to be provided by the nurse.

 

6) Is that really that far off?

 

7) This is a crazy exaggeration. If caught the police would maybe charge you with something minor like possesion of fireworks (if illegal in your state) or something small like that.

 

Again an exaggeration but I know teachers were absolutely not allowed to give students hugs, even at our graduation.

 

Again it is a joke with the exaggerations, but ultimately I think it's a principle they're describing not specific events.

[»Lynx]

If the gun thing happened in England there'd be helicopters, stun guns, The Sun, The Daily Mail, The Express and just about every other retard paper interviewing kids and posting out of context quotes and the school would get closed down and there would be a video three weeks later of the head teacher owning a gimp suit gyrating to Britney spears music, and some girl would commit suicide because it was her boyfriend who got arrested, and one of the police officers would have ended up accidentally touching a kids 'speshul places' during a frisk and would have been put on the child protection list... but it's utter bollocks, no way would of they had paid for any counseling!

 

-L