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Canada Should invade the US

rootbear75

By rootbear75
in General Discussion

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rootbear75 Newbie

rootbear75

Posted
Posted

found this on craigslist

 

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/van/833037507.html

I am honestly making this request from the bottom of my heart. Some of us down here in the States need your help. We want you to invade the United States. We have nut jobs in this country and they are actually getting elected to office.

 

Now I know what you are thinking: "But you hosers have made your own mess down there, we don't want anything to do with you." And you're right, but we do have a few things to offer you, here are eight reasons why you should invade:

 

1. Hockey. I know, you're wondering how the US can give Canada Hockey? But the majority of the NHL teams are in the US and let's be honest, we don't exactly treat them the way they deserve to be treated, they are considered second class sports by most Americans. Ask the average American who won the Stanley cup and they will stare at you blankly. You can have all our hockey teams and give those boys the love they deserve, besides all the players are already Canadian.

 

2. Unlimited Expansion of Tim Horton's. Look, if you haven't noticed we Americans have a weight problem, we're fat. I'm eating a hotdog, drinking a milkshake and injecting my veins with butter as I write this. We all know that Timmy's coffee and Donuts are far better than our beloved Dunkin' Donuts down here so Timmy's will have no problem finding customers.

 

3. Billions of Health care dollars. We pay more per capita for healthcare than you do, but over 50 million of us do not even have insurance. Do you know what that means? You can take over the private health care industry and combine it with your national health care system and you will have billions of dollars left over. All you need is to consolidate the mess we call private health insurance here and you will be swimming in cash, just like the private insurance companies are.

 

4. Republican Daughters. Just look at our Republican daughters. The Bush girls have been getting drunk every chance they get since they were teenagers. We know Palin's daughter has no problem with pre-marital sex. John McCain's wife was willing to have an affair with him while he was still married. These women are the best of both worlds, lady's in public and freaks behind closed doors. You can bring these girls to meet mom then take them home for a wild ride.

 

5. The White Spot Restaurant. If you saw the diversity, or lack thereof, at the Republican convention then you would know that an eatery named "The White Spot" would be wildly popular here in the US.

 

6. Guns. I know Canada has some tight regulations regarding guns, but we have none of that here. You can shoot someone in the face and suffer no consequences, just ask our current Vice President. So for those of you who like to shoot things, come on down.

 

7. Comedy. We have this hilarious station down here that is all comedy, all the time. No, not Comedy Central, it's called Fox News and it is hilarious. They pretend to be fair and balanced when they are really anything but, it really is funny.

 

8. Canadian Bacon. Once again our fatness is our weakness. Just cut it into the shape of a gun or a naked woman and we will never stop eating, your bacon industry will explode.

 

 

So there you go, eight reasons why you need to cross the border and invade us. Please help us. You will find about half of the country will welcome you with open arms. Thanks to our invasion of Iraq there should be no problem with one country invading another sovereign country, Russia has already exercised this new option.

 

I have my Canadian flag ready!

Cancer+ Newbie

Cancer+

Posted
Posted

So first off...Canada could NEVER invade us let alone a small country like Cambodia.

 

Secondly, this is just some guy complaining. He needs to move to Canada or Mexico. He just needs to leave. If he doesn't like how the government is running or how other things are going in this country....leave!

 

And...just a quick off note thing... We are not the only country who has a weight problem. Many, many, many other countries have "weight problems." And as much as you like to think its the fast food restaurants or the other !@#$%^&* they blame, its actually the people. If people would just put the fork down, they would be ok. If people would understand the concept of FAT and CALORIES, we wouldn't be fat. Don't blame the companies who are trying to make money, blame the people who sit there and eat out every day or every other day.

 

Self control is all this country needs.

PoLiX Rookie

PoLiX

Posted
Posted

One funny thing I found reading through I think it was Newsweek maybe, they polled a lot of people who disliked the US Government and how it was running things on certain subjects. They also asked in the same poll, how many actively voted, and it was only like 20%.

 

If you don't take the time to vote, you have no reason to whine and !@#$%^&*.

Cancer+ Newbie

Cancer+

Posted
Posted
One funny thing I found reading through I think it was Newsweek maybe, they polled a lot of people who disliked the US Government and how it was running things on certain subjects. They also asked in the same poll, how many actively voted, and it was only like 20%.

 

If you don't take the time to vote, you have no reason to whine and !@#$%^&*.

 

Just something I'm remembering from George Carlin...

Start watching at about 1:43

 

 

efKguI0NFekhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efKguI0NFek

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