17th Parallel Bar

[Tipme]

"oh darn im ghost..that sucks...

*flies into the girls bathroom....

[Cid Firefist]

"Dude, rice, you are a ghost too?! We should start a band, yo!"

[Greased_Lightning]

*pulls into the 17thParallelBar parking lot in his chrome jav*

 

-*BAD WORD*-ation...all the parking spaces are taken......hmmm....who's jav is that?

 

*reads reload's jav's license plate "AZZLVR" with a bumber sticker saying "I brake for decoys"*

 

Hmm...well, i'll put the universe out of its misery...

 

*backs up and flies right at reload's jav guns blazing until finally it explodes into thousands of tiny pieces of shrapnel that then magically disappear leaving no wreckage left except for the license plate which flies into the bar*

 

ahh...a parking space opened up... *pilots into the space, taps his gun button thereby completely stopping his jav's momentum...gets out of the ship, pulls green crate out of the trunk and throws it at his ship...suddenly a bright glow surrounds the jav as the shields are raised making it impervious to attack*

 

that ought to do it...now for a drink....(whistles a tune) .... AH -*BAD WORD*-!!!

 

*turns around, clicks off the shield, opens the -*BAD WORD*-pit and puts 'The Club' on the stick to keep hijackers away*

 

There we go!! *turns shields back on with a CHIRP CHIRP of the car alarm and walks into the bar*

 

"BARTENDER!! I am a Gijkar Warrior from the 35th Century and the 19th Parallel and I have a message for all those who enjoy living!!........DRINKS ARE ON ME!!!!!!!!....oh, and the universe will be turning inside out in three hours, but more importantly...FREE BEER!!!!!!!!"

[Aileron]

(OOC comment - This isn't the Forum Fight club in the Trash Talk forums. You people need to serious up a little. Yeah, this isn't hardcore RPG and thank God it isn't, but please play with SOME seriousness)

 

Aileron, standing cloaked in the shadowy corner of the bar, pulled a mysterious device out of his cloak. With a push of a button, the blown up headless decoy in the far off ocean disentegrated into nothing. Seeing that the bar was filled with idiots, he decided to look for a pilot elseware. He walked out of the bar, and looks at the parking lot.

 

"Hey, who blew up the ship I stole?!?"

 

Ail didn't like Javs anyway, but was a little annoyed that the parking lot wasn't equiped with a safety zone. Ail then walked over to the Crome Jav. A wire from under his right sleeve picked the door lock with ease. Then, Ail saw the Bar.

 

"How annoying" Ail thought to himself. He then stepped out of the Jav. Then raising his sleeve, a very fast wire whipped out from under his sleeve and cuts the whole stick off. He then got into the Jav. He launches a mesch of wires into the ships computer. They hardwired the ships computer and connected it directly to Ail's brain. In seconds, the Jav lifted off and flew so far away that nobody can chase.

 

 

A few minutes, a squad of fully armed (NPC) Alliance Soldiers walked into the bar.

 

"We are looking for Apple Pie for the rape and murder of Judith Jones."

 

"He is dead"

 

"Fine, we will take the body, resusitate him, try him, and execute him"

 

A short time later, Apple Pie is back to life and in a jail cell.

[Cokey Flo]

(Wakes up from the nice nap she had)

 

(Looks at the calendar and notices it's almost Christmas)

 

'Weeeeeeeeeee'

 

(Runs into the bathroom, comes back out dressed as Santa)

 

(Takes out a bag of Christmas presents and smiles)

[Tipme]

*doesnt care about anything at the moment...becuase ricebowl just got Linkin Park Live in Texas...yea thats right...i saw u in it apple...i think

 

"cokey..im sorry to say..christmas isnt that much celebrated here....cuase someone here is a J-O-O...."

*flies to tatooine in his lancaster...

*ahhh..young anakin...heh..lets have a talk"

[Greased_Lightning]

(OOC: uhh, how'd you get past the jav shields?)

 

*looks outside and sees the empty parking space*

 

"AHH!! My ship!!!"

 

*recalls Aileron walking outside just before with a "I'm gonna steal a jav cuz' I am too lazy to work for one" look on his face*

 

"Grrrr...I will find you Aileron, and when I do...no amount of begging will stop your fate...I shall subject you to a fate worse than death itself!!!!!!! (OOC: locked in a room with no windows or guards with Michael Jackson )"

 

*continues vowing revenge and spouting obscenities to his drink and playing darts*

[Aileron]

(OOC-If you haven't figured it out by now, I kinda have a lot of hidden gadjets. I have a passive gadget that allows me to walk through shields, and the wires are not usual weapons, so the shields didn't consider them a threat. Okay okay, that's BS, but I really can't say "I didn't notice" now can I? Sorry. I'll make it up to you at the end of this post.)

 

Ail was in luck. The only reason he needed to hire another pilot was because the last Jav he stole had a security transponder on it, and Ithkian forces could track it easily. However, in his new ship, Ail was safely able to make the shipment.

 

 

Back in the bar, another group of Alliance troops entered the bar. "Who blew up that Jav outside?", said the commander. Since this particular soldier was slightly psychic, he immeadiately turned to Greased_Lightning.

 

"We on behalf of the people of the Alliance, and acting in accord with the Ithkian treaty would like to thank you for killing the dreaded Ailius "the Aileron" Judkovsky. A few weeks ago, he stole a part of some terraforming equipment, and made off in a stolen Javelin. This is just one of many acts against the Ithkians that Aileron has done since the war ended. We in the Alliance are bound by treaty to facilitate in hunting down this bandit. A security tracking device placed inside the vessel enabled us to track it here. We thank you for destroying his ship, and judging by a skeleton found inside the wreckage, we know he was inside that you killed this dangerous criminal. As thanks on behalf of the Alliance and the Ithkians, please accept this reward of $5,000,000,000"

 

With that, the Alliance commander hands Greased_Lighting a briefcase full of money and leaves.

[Tipme]

*mission impossible music starts playing

"my name is bowl.....ricebowl"

*heads over to a chaos Gate and starts chanting a spell

*hium hum something something blah..blah..yea

*Protoss Dark Archon comes out of it

*commands the Dark Archon to Mind Control aileron...it does so... the dark archon's shield depletes and looks considerablky weaker...

aileron is now under Ricebowl's control!

[Guest Guest]

(OOC-That's strange. I thought Apple ate you and thus, you were a Ghost, thus a Terran unit, thus unable to summon Protoss units. Besides, I didn't see any Dark Templars around. Oh well. I'd tell you to just order a nuke strike, but that would destroy the bar and break a rule.

 

May I point out again that this isn't the FFC, so please be a little more serious. Its good to be funny, but you are just being silly. Sillyness has its time and place, but not really here. You are essentially going off topic. Please be funny, it livens the mood, just don't go too far.

 

Also, we problaby should start a new topic for areas outside the bar, just something general.)

 

 

It was a dark night in far away Pennsylvania. In the middle of the storms, a Nightwasp decended from the clouds and landed at an old medieval castle on top of some tall cliffs over the waters. (OOC- OK there are no castles or oceans in PA, lets just say its a mansion on top of Lake Erie) The Nightwasp landed at the castle, and a short clone of 20th century Vice President Al Gore emerged from the castle with an umbrella. He opened the door to the ship.

 

"Greetings Dr. Ailenstein. I saw on the news that you are considered dead."

"Yes, this is good news. Perhaps I will have some peace for an hour or two."

 

The two of them walked accrossed the courtyard and into the castle. They continued down a long stone hallway, until they reached Dr. Ailenstein's laboratory. They walked past a table with various technical gadjets. Dr. Ailenstein donned a helmet on the table, and gave a sigh. This helmet was built to deflect all psionic attacks. It was a pity there was no way for him to test it though. It will have to wait for another day. (OOC - This is when Dark Archon attacks - deflected by helmet)

 

Suddenly AlGore said, "Your clone is finished, doctor." Dr. Ailenstein quickly set the helmet back on the table and walked to another one. Amidst a series of tesla coils and other machines was a lifeless clone of Ricebowl.

 

"Is it completed?"

"All but the brain, sir."

"I have this one from a gorilla that they put down at the zoo, it should suffice."

 

With that, Ailenstein handed a brain to AlGore, who scuttled over and inserted it into Ricebowl's head.

 

"Okay, stand back."

 

Dr. Ailenstein pulled a large switch on the wall. Around the room, machines hummed to life, and electrical sparks jumped from the tesla coils.

 

"It's alive! ITS ALIVE!! BWHAHAHA!"

 

Suddenly, Ricebowl was ressurected and strapped to the table. Before he could speak, Dr Ailenstein said to him:

 

'Time to wake up my friend. It seems that you are am!@#$%^&*ing quite a debt to me. First you take my twenty dollors and run, turning away my good will, and then I ressurect you here. I !@#$%^&*ure you however, that this debt will not go unpaid.

 

Let me start by introducing you to your new body. It is exactly like your old one with a few exceptions. First, you new one is a little bit younger and healthier, you can thank me later.

 

Secondly, I made a few technical modifications. I have put several items inside your brain and genetic code that will make my offer all the more convincing. If you try to think about refusing, there will be a painfull electric shock to your nerve nerve endings. At this point Ricebowl gave a scream of pain. The device was undoubtedly working. Also, if you betray me on this or try to run, I !@#$%^&*ure you will transmute into yeast and I will use you to make my beer. Do not attempt to think your way out of this, I know the size of the brain I put in there, and have capabilities of watching your every action from accrossed the galaxy. Whatever you can think of, I already have.

 

Third of all, you will find that you are missing a little something "down under," and I do mean little by the way. The only way you can get it back is to do this little task for me. Do this task for me, and I will remove the failsafes as well as reattach what you are missing. I'll even add a few inches if the universe still thinks I am dead after you are done.

 

This gets me to the decription of what you will do for me. You see, the Itkians are making a secret weapon on their new colony of Omegus Prime. They call it the "Arm of Justice". It is an experimental weapon that warps high velocity L4 bombs at high speed over VERY long distances, even without line of sight. With it they could attack virtually any ship at any location, if it was completed. I stole the designs for this weapon, as well as a crucial piece of its construction labled "terraforming equipment" which will delay it for a few months. However, when I proved it to Alliance buerocrats, they would not act. They know that acting would result in war, but are giving the Ithkians the benefet of the doubt. I disagree. In my opinion, there can be no peace if the Ithkians are building weapons to destroy us.

 

This is where you come in. I need you to destroy the project. It must be you, because will your officially dead status, there will no one to blame. Ofcourse, I have the same status, so realise that you are somewhat expendable. The project is being held in some underground tunnels on Omegus Prime. This holomap will show the coordinates of the planet, the entrances to the tunnels, and any security installations I found the last time I was there. To keep things secret, they house their entire project here from the research to the weapon itself. A few explosive charges at these three locations shown on the map would ensure collapse of the tunnels and the end of this secret weapon once and for all.

 

To ensure that you do this, I am giving you a few items that you may use. First come weapons. I am giving you three micro nuclear charges, which will go off with this detonator. Just flip the arm switch and push the little red button. I am also giving you this plasma pistol. It is small and impossible to detect with Ithkian security scanners. Also, it automatically will form a nueral link to the user's brain, and an onboard compute calculates predicted trajectory. In laymans terms, this gun will make a lazily aimed shot accurate to an inch at 500 yards.

 

I am also giving you these. It is called techno-reefer. It is a genetic and chemical varient of marijuanna that is non-addictive and enhances senses and stamina. Basically, the smoker becomes actually more alert and more dextrous while high on this stuff. Side effect are actually healthy, and liable to burn body fat and increase lifespan. However, it smokes like crud. Not only that, but if you are captured, they will most likey consider you high instead of a spy. You would be imprisoned instead of killed on the spot. I'm also giving you some regular reefer for the trip there.

 

The third thing requires some background. You see, Ithkian culture is a very backwards caste system. An individual's rank in society is forever determined by race, gender, and family ties. This watch will warp the cells in your body to reach the configuration of a female of one of their lesser races. With it, you can easily impersonate one of their housekeepers. Considering the arrogance of the Ithkians, and the power of their caste system, you will be invisible even in high security areas. To use this thing, press the green button. Press the red to change back. If you somehow lose it, you will naturally shift back after two hours. Or you could just shoot your way in, your choice. I honestly prefer cloaking devices.

 

After you destroy the facility, come meet me at the 17th Parallel bar to collect your reward. Remember, the citizens of the Alliance are counting on you to destroy this weapon. Also remember that I got you by the balls both literally and figuratively. You really have no choice but to do this and if you try to resist, you will be lucky to die. Good luck and God speed.'

 

At that point AlGore flipped a series of switches. A Chaos Gate opened in the floor beneath Ricebowl's table. The table tilted upward, and when it was completely vertical, the shackles that binded his arms and legs released, and Ricebowl fell into the gate, warping back to the bar. After he went through, a bag carrying the equipment described was thrown in after him. Antoher switch was pulled, and the gate was closed. Dr. Ailenstein went to his study and had some rest.

[Aileron]

Me again, as if the length didn't give it away.

[Cid Firefist]

At this point Ricebowl gave a scream of pain.

Ail, stop playing other people's characters.

[Tipme]

yea...and next time u write a post longer than my monitor im not gonna read it..

i didnt even read it this time what am i talking about

[Greased_Lightning]

*takes his newfound wealth and uses it to benefit all people everywhere.....yeah right*

 

"Whoo!! First thing im gonna do it get REALLY WASTED!!!!"

 

*after getting extremely drunk and then hungover, and then recovered, Greased Lightning invests most of his money in pork bellies and makes a killing...then goes to the nearest 7-11 and buys 1,000,000 Powerball tickets...and still loses*

 

D'oh!! It's all a -*BAD WORD*-ed conspiracy...

 

*remebers his chrome jav, yeah that was cool...goes out and buys one, parks in front of the bar and walks in wearing a suit made of cheese and cherry flavored condoms*

 

"Drinks are on me again! Anyone need a pilot?"

[GhettoSmurf]

*the strange little smurf comes out of the corner he was sitting and graciously accepts a tall smurfberry juice from Greased_Lighting http://www.gamingfiles.com/network/smilies/beer.gif *

 

*afster sipping away for a minute, the smurf notices the ghosts floating around the bar and retreats back to his corner*

[Tipme]

*uses De-ghostify on self..is regular freeakin human again

 

'hey there smurfy..what is up? see..look..im not a ghost anymore! woooooooooooooooooooo"

 

*buys superior cloaking device for his own lancaster:ability to cloak and stealth that byp!@#$%^&*es X-radar: btw...used greased's money to buy that..

*drinks his mountain dew...

[Aileron]

(OOC-Alright fine, I guess I can't post long posts. The jist of my last one is that I ressurected Ricebowl as a Eununch with a mindcontrol chip and DNA that will decompose into beer yeast if I push a button. I then ordered him to save the galaxy and gave him a pistol, some charges, a map, some reefer, and a disguise device.

 

As for me role-playing his character - technically, yes, in any manner in which we should care, no.)

 

*Changes mind - Ricebowl? Save the galaxy? How high was I? - turns off Ricebowl's mind control chip - saves galaxy on his own - loots Ithkul treasury on way out*

 

*buys 5 tile wide NightWasp with L4 guns, bombs, 99999 nrg with 99999 recharge, and X-radar that byp!@#$%^&*es the stealth and cloak that byp!@#$%^&*es X-radar - call it Y-Radar.*

 

*flies into parking lot*

 

"What? All the spaces are only 2 tiles wide! ARGH!!"

 

*parks very distant safety zone - leaves shields on and leaves a genetic golem in the ship to protect it from thieves. Also leaves a personal portal so I can warp into it at will.*

 

*creates chaos gate - walks into bar. A personal shielding device is up, and I am escorted by two large mindless genetic monsters.*

 

"I could use a pilot."

[Greased_Lightning]

*looks up from his drink*

 

"a pilot you say? I'm one of the best pilots in the universe...i would be the best if not for Han Solo and his thrice be-*BAD WORD*-ed Wookie compatriot...but if you can settle for second best, a pilot who can fly into the deepest bowels of -*BAD WORD*- and spit in the devil's eye while at the same time having his way with the sexy princess...I'm your man!"

 

*turns back around and orders another drink*

[Tipme]

"yea -*BAD WORD*- Han Solo...Who wants to go kill him?"

[Aileron]

*whispers to Greased in such a way that no one else can hear. If you aren't Greased, don't bother reading. Its long and boring anyways.*

 

"Well, good. I need a really good, but more importantly a brave and stealthy one."

 

"You see, I have a bit of a problem. In order to fund some home improvements, I need to sell some "pharmecuticals" to some clients on the Ithkul colony of Sentile Major. Unfortunately, my ship does nothing but draw attention and my pharmecuticals are rather - unlicensed. I need you to take the shipment and deliver it to my clients.

 

Obviously, you must avoid Ithkul Imperial Cruisers. Not only that, but the Alliance is also trying to stop my line of trade. The tricky part is that you can't destoy any of the latter's ships should they engage you. I really do not want to get them angry at my organization.

 

My shipments will be sealed in several large dueterium fuel cells with dueterium inside mind you. There is also a detonating device inside each. Should any be opened prematurely, they will detonate the hydrogen and likely destroy your vessel. They will also detonate should any Alliance ship be destroyed nearby. I apologize for this, but I do need to have security measures.

 

I will give you this holo-map to where my clients will be located from galazy wide to specific room. They will be the only humans around, so you will have no problem recognizing them. All you need to do is push the button and give voice commands. Carefull, it is tuned in to Alliance and Ithkul frequencies. If a large presense is or was nearby, say a ship, this thing becomes a five-second fuse plasma grenade. Its another one of my security devices. To turn it back into a map, you must put it in an area of outside temperature -20 degrees Centegrade.

 

Total payment for your services is $3 million. You will get one from me as you pick up your shipments and two from my clients as yolu drop them off. Your map shows the time and place for the pickup. Do you accept my offer?"

[epox]

A faded-yellow and grey javelin streaks across the stars and makes it's way to the parking lot of Manus' bar. The starlight reveals hundreds of scratches, rips and holes on the outside hull of the ship like battle scars of an aging veteran. With a screetch of it's tires and a puff of black smoke the javelin limps into one of the repair docks and the -*BAD WORD*-pit hisses open. A slender blonde man of about twenty-two years hops out dressed in a newly-issued, freshly-pressed Air Force blue uniform and adjusts his flight cap, just slightly tilted to the right. A ship technician steps out of his office holding a clipboard. The airman tosses his keys to him and grins, slightly embarrased at the condition of his ship.

 

"Just a bit rusty is all, I'll be back to my old self in no-time."

"Not a problem, we've seen much worse. Your name, sir?" the tech asks.

"Epox" the airmen replies and with a nod the tech scitters off to start his work.

 

Epox glances over his ship for a moment and sighs, "Rusty I am indeed" he mumbles.

 

He turns around toward the bar, dusts off his blues, adjusts his ribbons and strolls confidently inside with a swagger common among new airmen. As he passes the door's threshold he removes his cap and tucks it into his belt. He glances around the facility and compares it to the old joint he frequented so long ago. He nods thoughtfully and grins to himself. He watches the patrons for a moment or two, looking for any he might recognize from the old days. He suddenly regrets ever leaving his old hunting ground and home to pursue a career in the Air Force but reminds himself he just misses his friends and that he made the right decision. It was definitely time to do something. He listens to the familiar rants and insults from the crowd as they argue and fight with one another and his grin grows to a smile; how he's missed the pilots of 17th! Epox makes his way to the bar and perches on a stool, looking around for his old friend Manus.

 

"Bounty race ya to a thousand, old-timer!" he says with a smirk.

[Aileron]

*sees epox walk in*

 

*thinks to himself - "alliance soldier! Oh, its only one Air Force guy, not the usual tactical assault team I am used to. The benefits of being officially dead. Still, I better get outta here before he notices."*

 

*uses personal portal to warp into ship*

 

*flies 5 tile wide NightWasp to secret meeting location*

 

*has 10 genetically engineered golem monsters set up a defensive parimeter*

 

*waits for Greased to show up*

[epox]

Epox looks around the empty bar. With a shrug he strolls out.

 

"Guess I missed the party."

[Guest Tim_thee_tool_man]

enters the bar and looks around while roll'n smoke

[ReCoil!]

*after 6 months on his personal vendetta of revenge, ReCoil! having finally avenged his wife....comes spinning towards the station docks at 2000kph only to be saved from death against the station hull, by the automated safety beams which gently egded his ship down to 100 kph, so that it scratched along the floor in a flurry of sparks to a dead halt....*

 

*the ship rumbled like an animal in great pain as the EonGenerator Series 900 engines with Dual Thrust Reheaters slowly contracted as they cooled ... suddenly 2 abrupt dull thuds could be heard from the -*BAD WORD*-pit. ReCoil! smashed open the jammed -*BAD WORD*-pit roof, and watched it from the corner of his eye, shatter on the floor as he grabbed his weapons and jumped away from the burning vessel, and watched his burgundy fire lizard quickly follow him, from the smouldering wreck of a ship....*

 

*microseconds later the ship was blasted from all sides by with foam untill it was completely cocooned, and ventilations systems kicked into action to remove the fumes... ReCoil! shook his head and turned towards the bar he hadnt been to in so long.....*

 

*he was wearing a white long sleeved top, which gently caressed his skin, and a warm fleecy, waterproof, sleeveless jacket over them, which was navy blue and had a patch over the right shoulder...where the fire lizard quickly settled, as he slowly stumbled towards the bar..... His right arm was bleeding the white of his top stained....and drops of blood were crashing to the deck, leaving behind a trail....*

 

*ReCoil! glanced around the bar....recognized some faces...some friendly some not....and settled himself in a corner near a heat emitter, while Zaranth his burgundy fire lizard gently licked his ears and cheek and made gentle chirping sounds to comfort him....., as he shivered due to shock and loss of blood...*

 

*He reached down to his right thigh and retrieved a phial of nanomedics....holding them in his hands the phial suddenly began to light up as the nanorobots were brought to life by the heat from his palms and started to emit an electric blue glow.....that filled the corner of the bar....a few people looked up...., then suddenly ReCoil! downed the phial in one....and started to think about his cir-*BAD WORD*-stances....*

 

*he hadnt expected such a dangerous atmosphere near 17th....that last spider....almost had him....he had lost a wing....and his hull intergrity had been down to 32/1400 one more hit would have been the end of him....he shook his head as the fire lizard gently tried to comfort him*