Hell Theory

[rootbear75]

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam paper:

 

"Is !@#$%^&* exothermic (gives off heat), or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant thereof.

 

One student, however, wrote the following:

 

First, we need to know how the m!@#$%^&* of !@#$%^&* is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into !@#$%^&* and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to !@#$%^&*, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering !@#$%^&*, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to !@#$%^&*. Since, there are more than one of these religions, and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to !@#$%^&*.

 

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in !@#$%^&* to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in !@#$%^&*, because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in !@#$%^&* to stay the same, the volume of !@#$%^&* has to expand as souls are added.

 

This gives two possibilities:

 

If !@#$%^&* is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter !@#$%^&*, then the temperature and pressure in !@#$%^&* will increase until all !@#$%^&* breaks loose.

Of course, if !@#$%^&* is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in !@#$%^&*, then the temperature and pressure will drop until !@#$%^&* freezes over.

So which is it?

 

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Krissy Jones during my Freshman year that "it will be a cold night in !@#$%^&* before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then (2) cannot be true, and thus I am sure that !@#$%^&* is exothermic.

 

This student got the only A.

[UpC]

copy pasta

[Falcoknight]

Rootbear, I applaud your amazing skill at finding internet jokes so incredibly old and common that even the dinosaurs can say "was funny the first time I read it."

[rootbear75]

ive never seen these before, therefore they are not old or common

 

old and common are relative terms

Edited December 3, 2007 by rootbear75