The Married Man's Scoreboard

[rootbear75]

(NOTE: a score of "0" means it was expected of him)

 

Simple Duties

------------

* You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty-liners with wings: +5

* But return with beer: -5

* You check out a suspicious noise at night: 0

* You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing: 0

* You check out a suspicious noise and it's something: +5

* You pummel it with a six iron: +10

* It's her father: -10

 

Social Engagements

------------------

* You stay by her side the entire party: 0

* You stay by her side for awhile, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy: -2

* Named Tiffany: -4

* Tiffany is a dancer: -6

* Tiffany has implants: -8

 

Saturday Afternoons

-------------------

* You visit her parents: +1

* You visit her parents and actually make conversation: +3

* You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television: -3

* And the television is off: -6

* You spend the day watching college football in your underwear: -6

* And you didn't even go to college: -10

* And it's not really your underwear: -15

 

Her Birthday

------------

* You take her out to dinner: 0

* You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar: +1

* Okay, it's a sports bar: -2

* And it's all-you-can-eat night: -3

* It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team: -10

* You give her a gift: 0

* You give her a gift, and it's a small appliance: -10

* You give her a gift, and it's not a small appliance: +1

* You give her a gift, and it isn't chocolate: +2

* You give her a gift that you'll be paying off for months: +30

* You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day: -10

* With her credit card: -30

* And whatever you bought is two sizes too small: -40

 

Thoughtfulness

----------------------

* You forgot to pick her up at the bus station: -25

* Which is in Newark, New Jersey: -35

* And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast: -50

 

A Night Out With Your Pals

----------------------------------------

* You have a few beers: -9

* For every beer after three: -2 again

* And miss curfew by an hour: -12

* You get home at 3 a.m.: -20

* You get home at 3 a.m. smelling of booze and cheap cigars: -30

* And not wearing any pants: -40

* Is that a tattoo? -200

 

A Night Out, Just the Two of You

-------------------------------------------------

* You go see a comic: +2

* He's crude and sexist: -2

* You laugh: -5

* You laugh too much: -10

* She's not laughing: -15

* You laugh harder: -25

 

Driving

----------

* You lose the directions on a trip: -4

* You lose the directions and end up getting lost: -10

* You end up getting lost in a bad part of town: -15

* You get lost in a bad part of town and meet the locals up close & personal: -25

* She finds out you lied about having a black belt: -60

 

Communication

----------------------

* When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen,

displaying what looks like a concerned expression: 0

* When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes: +5

* You listen for more than 30 minutes, without looking at the television or picking up a newspaper: +10

* She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep: -10

[★ Dav]

rofl funny because its true.

 

women eh?

[ESCANDAL0SA]

lmao... stupid boys.

[🜲 Samapico]

* You pummel it with a six iron: +10

* It's her father: -10

 

lolz

[Suicide_Run]

Nice one root, I will have to +1 Rep u =/

[Audry]

lol funny

[★ Dav]

lmao... stupid boys.

not denying it though are ya?

[★ candygirl]

lmao... stupid boys.

not denying it though are ya?

 

why would she deny that boys are stupid?

Edited December 3, 2007 by candygirl

[MISTY_DAWN]

^

[Tiq]

And yet boys rule the world...quite the conundrum, isn't it ladies? While you try to piece together that puzzle, make me a sammich. Nyah nyah nyah.

[★ candygirl]

And yet boys rule the world...quite the conundrum, isn't it ladies? While you try to piece together that puzzle, make me a sammich. Nyah nyah nyah.

 

And thats why the world is like this.

[Tiq]

Ladies haven't done much to change it, despite the fact they have some power. Condoleeza Rice, etc. There have been opportunities. And if Hillary becomes president, nothing will change and you know it. It is not guy-nature. It is HUMAN-nature. We are no different aside from our physical appearances.

[MISTY_DAWN]

i really hope she dosent become president...

[★ Dav]

I was getting at you arn't denying that the scoring list is correct

[Shock]

And yet boys rule the world...quite the conundrum, isn't it ladies? While you try to piece together that puzzle, make me a sammich. Nyah nyah nyah.

rofl

[MISTY_DAWN]

And yet boys rule the world...quite the conundrum, isn't it ladies? While you try to piece together that puzzle, make me a sammich. Nyah nyah nyah.

 

would you like some mus!@#$%^&*?

 

 

 

 

 

and a bit of !@#$%^&* off.....

 

 

 

lol im just kidding <3