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Posted

Just a few limericks I found on the net.

 

There was a young man from Bombay

who made a false fanny from clay

but the heat from his !@#$%^&*

turned the !@#$%^&* to a brick

and wore all his foreskin away

 

There was a young lady from Izores,

who’s fanny was covered in sores,

the dogs in the street,

wouldn’t eat the green meat,

on the bits that hung down from her drawers.

 

i am a little girl

i have a little thing

when i go to bed i put my finger in

now i am much older my thing has lost its charm

now it takes 5 finger and half my f***ing arm

 

There was a young girl named Louise

Who’s pubes hung down to her knees

The crabs got together

To knit her a sweater

So in winter her !@#$%^&* wouldn’t freeze.

 

There once was a man from Gosham,

Who took out his bollocks to wash ’em,

His wife said "Jack!,

If you don't put 'em back,

I’ll stand on the ASSS and squash ’em!"

 

There was a young girl from Neith,

who enjoyed nibbling !@#$%^&* with her teeth,

it wasn’t for fame or love of the game,

but to get to the cheese underneath

 

There was a young man named bill,

who swallowed a dynamite pill,

his heart retired,

his bum backfired,

and his willy shot over the hill

 

Old mother Riley

she had a fat cow

she wanted to milk it but she didn’t know how

she pulled it’s tail instead of its ASSS

and old mother Riley got covered in !@#$%^&*!!

 

There once was a man from Beijing,

Who invented the !@#$%^&*ing machine.

On the 31st stroke

The !@#$%^&*ing thing broke

And whipped his balls into cream.

 

There was a young lady from Eeling

who had a peculiar feeling

she lay on her back and opened her crack

and came all over the ceiling

 

a horny woman named Lil

!@#$%^&*ed a dynamite stick for a thrill

they found her vagina in north Carolina

and bits of her !@#$%^&* in Brazil

 

There was an old man from D!@#$%^&*,

Who’s balls were made out of Br!@#$%^&*,

In Windy weather,

they clanked together,

and sparks came out of his !@#$%^&*

 

when working in cold climes abroad

a fanny’s the thing if you’re bald

the hair from a !@#$%^&*

makes a lovely warm hat

with a button to push if you’re bored

 

There once was a lady from Crewe Who filled her vagina with glue.

She said with a grin,

"If they pay to get in

They can pay to get out of it too!"

Posted

Something someone showed me.

 

She whispered "will it hurt me?"

"Of course not" answered he

"It's a very simple process,

You can rely on me."

 

She said "I'm very frightened,

I've not had this before.

My friend has had it five times

And said it can be sore."

 

It was growing rather painful

Tears formed in her eyes

It was hurting quite a bit now

It must have been a size.

 

"Calm yourself" he whispered

"His face filled with a grin

"Try and open wider

So I can get it in."

 

"It's coming now" he whispered

"I know" she cried in bliss

Feeling it deep within her now

She said "I am glad I'm having this."

 

And with a final effort

She gave a frightened shout

He gripped it in anguish

And quickly pulled it out.

 

She lay back quite contended

Sighed and gave a smile

She said "I'm glad I came now

You made it worth my while."

 

Now if you read this carefully

The dentist you will find

Is not what you imagined

It's just your dirty mind!!

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