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Posted
Due to Dav's recent sabotage and attacks on Beef, the population of Suicide_Run has m!@#$%^&* suicided into the nation with hand held grenades that explodes at any given moment. Doing so, the army has sustain insignificant losses while causing Dav more than 500 loses.
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Posted

In Turtle Town U.S.A, GREATEST COUNTRY ON THE PLANET, Scarfonians are celebrating the Scarface.nl's ownageness for the seven hundredth time this year. One time, Shock tried to invade Turtle Town and kill some of Scarface.nls peoples, but Scarface.nl The Great united his troops with dis rallying call:

 

http://www.moviesoundscentral.com/wavs/braveheart/Brave9.mp3

 

Scarfonians finest warriors and warlocks were on da scene to lay da smacks down on all of Shocks peoples, and den Scarface.nl The Great found Shocks out on the battlefields and took a huge dump sauce all over his chest. Proclaiming his victory over the Shock, Scarface the Great did an awesome redo of meat spin in front of his troops, followed by a rousing fart, before mounting his War Turtle, and trotting back to Turtle Town.

 

To celebrate his victory over Shocks army, Scarface the Great threw a thirty day and thirty night festival, where he had many sexy times with many fat girls and sometimes even three to four of them at a time. Contracting Aidz, Scarface the Great squeezed his Balls to all of his Penis clan members, creating the now trademarked energy drink of all Penis members, Lemonaidz.

 

The next day, Animate Dreams, Captain Penis, contacted Scarface the Great via the Peniphone, and told him that dis dood named Aileinroners was attacking people in the Penis Galaxy. Supposedly, Aileron was the most powerful Warlock in dis universe, attacking people with no remorse, and angering Kevin J Russel to tears. When Kevin J Russel turns to tears, he turns to Scarface the Great, cause dey are true spartans, and if someone killed Kevin J Russel, Scarface the Great would not be at his funeral, cause he'd be in jail for killing the lowly sack of life that killed his friend.

 

So, Scarface the Great !@#$%^&*embled his Scarfonians, and with one quick blow on his Penis Horn, he summoned his power of Penis, and rode off to attack Ailerons on his own territories. As soon as he arrived, he spelled out his name on the front steps of Ailerons national arab font building, and proceeded to defeat his enemy in a battle with his turtle warrior scarfonians! As soon as the battle was done, Scarface the Great decided to add major insult to injury. He found a empty Lemonaidz bottle, and uncapped it. He put it to the cheeks of his !@#$%^&*, and farted into it. Quickly capping it, he walked up to the beaten down Aileron. He proceeded to uncap the bottle, and quickly thrust it under Ailerons nose, squeezing the bottle, poofing the sickest fart ever recorded into his nose. Aileron began to vomit violently, and Scarface the Great stood over him in victory.

Posted

scarface, I'd hate to be a jerk who cheapens your victory, but...

 

First off you did next to nothing. Animate Dreams and JDS did all the work. Secondly Penis clan had the numbers to begin with. Winning when in a match of 17 players vs. 5 isn't much of a victory.

 

Okay, I'll admit that I'm not as good as 4 of you guys put together, but...

Posted

Today, an arousing announcement was made in LIDMARRISTANTROPOLOPOLIS. Top government scientists have HARNESSED the power of the LEMONAIDZ

into a hand-thrown projectile. These mighty new weapons have been aptly named "LEMONAIDZ GRENAIDZ".

Posted (edited)

In other news, the EBA has desperately been trying to stop the flood of refugees from the war-torn nations of the world.

The Rootanian border to Ailestan, Penis, and Davantis have been closed, and all refugees are being deported. We can only figure out what the countries will do the the poor refugees when they get back, but unfortunately, Rootania has been overrun by the immigrants.

Here are our ideas:

In Ailestan, the extradited refugees will probably be sent on sabotage missions where the survival rate is only at a low 12.743%

In Davantis, our intelligence can't penetrate so we can't figure out what the god Dav will do.

In Penis, we suspect the refugees will be bathed in a chemical which makes them rock hard, and then rammed into some god-forsaken hole for fun.

 

There are plans to build a tall concrete electric fence around the whole perimeter.

Edited by rootbear75
Posted

أخبار الامة الائلستية

 

The resistance is finally winning! We wake up today to find that the Penis clan has been all but removed from the top 5. Officials fear that are trying to pull strings at the UN to freeze the bank accounts of some of the members in hiding, but the UN rudely has demanded that we release that bus full of children on a field trip that we took hostage two months ago, so talks collapsed. However, officials state that when the hiders spend their money to buy their armies, we will be ready for them.

 

The conflict has been long and hard, and we have lost much, but today's sunrise shows that there is still hope of winning this fight.

Posted
Falconia decides they are going to give up even bothing to try for the top 5, because enemy spies are still on such a !@#$%^&*ing ridiculous amount of steroids that they seem to be able to come in and take out thousands upon thousands of items with ease, and trying to resist that in any legitimate way would just be pointless.
Posted

With threats from the surroundings of Davantis the followers of the God Dav hid behind their walls no longer. The enemies of the Davantians were forced to run with fear when from behind the impenetrable walls of the great city appeard an amry so large nothing like it had ever been seen. Nor had an army so well equipped with the very best technology known to man.

 

The great god Dav was pleased when he saw all those that not worship him run in fear and leave the people of Davantis the ultimate power in the land of subspace.

 

Davanitans and their allies were given gifts of strength and fertility by the SSCentral gods, A new temple to the Great God Dav was built and a banquit for all his followers was held in his name and to celebrate their victory.

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