Aileron Posted May 1, 2007 Report Posted May 1, 2007 Use this thread for in character storytelling purposes only. Out of character posts will be deleted.
Aileron Posted May 1, 2007 Author Report Posted May 1, 2007 أخبار الامة الائلستية In main news today, the Office of Foreign Relations of the Democratic People's Republic of Ailestan formally denied charges made by the UN today that Ailestan has been developing a WMD and has infact used said WMD mere hours ago. The response was "These accusations are ludicrus. We have yet to find one person who has claimed to have been recently nuked." To combat the growing threat of clan Penis. The Parliament has voted 99-1 to create the Office of Cir!@#$%^&*cision. The only vote against the ruling was made by Senator Achmed Babaganush. In unrelated news today, Senator Achmed Babaganush participated in a 15 mile charity marathon after all four of his car's tires spontaneously exploded. 10,000 foloose was earned in the event. The government promises to devote that money to a worthy cause.
LiDDiS Posted May 1, 2007 Report Posted May 1, 2007 In the small country of LiDmarrania, one of the many balls of the penis, everyone looks like this:
Falcoknight Posted May 1, 2007 Report Posted May 1, 2007 In Falconia, President Falcoknight stands tall and strong, maintaining his #1 spot just long enough to give his fellow Penises hope and point them in the right direction before finally falling and resting.
Dav Posted May 1, 2007 Report Posted May 1, 2007 After the devastation of our world the few survivors of Davantis decided to begin to rebuild and rearm. Using their knowledge they built the core of their city using the materials that remained and made an oath to return to supremacy at all costs. The SSC God Dav was pleased to see this and they were rewarded with their first UP upgrade.
rootbear75 Posted May 1, 2007 Report Posted May 1, 2007 (edited) The peaceful denizens of Rootania want to express that we will be neutral again for the month of May. If any attacks are made against our nation, we will retaliate. and what does that Arabic mean? Edited May 1, 2007 by rootbear75
jacob hunter! Posted May 1, 2007 Report Posted May 1, 2007 As the ranking leader from clan penis, I want to say that my fall will not be easy this round. I plan to follow Ani and lead penis to greatness. In recent news the member of joint staffs (attraction) has decided to put all his effort into making penisis Military power very powerful. So far success has fallen on penis with one of it's commanding officer's ranking 1 in the vast worl as of now. To falconia: Good work on taking over rank 2. we have our strong penis clan in a good posistion so far.
Aileron Posted May 2, 2007 Author Report Posted May 2, 2007 أخبار الامة الائلستية (Literally it translates to "News of the Ailestani Nation, !@#$%^&*uming that "الائلستية" is not an actual word, as it is a phonetic representation of "Ailestani".) The Office of Foreign Relations has agreed to day to honor limited cease-fire will all members who are not in clan Penis. Under such an agreement, all parties will agree not to carry out m!@#$%^&* attacks and sabotages of the other parties, yet are not bound to refrain from one-time raids for points. This is a risky manuever for Ailestan, as the people of Rootania are clearly infidels who are smuggling bacon into our country. However, due to the size of clan Penis, most government officials consider this a prudent course of action.
rootbear75 Posted May 2, 2007 Report Posted May 2, 2007 The Commander of the Rootanian EBA would like to remind the dictator of Ailestan that while we might not be controlling our bacon smuggling, your intelligence will show that we have no troops or weapons built up to attack or even defend. See this quote made earlier today:"We are in peacetime my friends. Let us show all of the Ailestani peoples what we can do for fun"-Commander of the EBA
Aileron Posted May 2, 2007 Author Report Posted May 2, 2007 How dare you call me a dictator! We hold elections regularly. I just happen to be popular enough to have won the last twenty unanimously.
rootbear75 Posted May 2, 2007 Report Posted May 2, 2007 So did Saddam, but you don't hear people not calling him an evil dictator OMG!Aileron = Saddam
jacob hunter! Posted May 2, 2007 Report Posted May 2, 2007 I want to thank me and falc for keeping up well and also to our other top ten penis elitists
Animate Dreams Posted May 2, 2007 Report Posted May 2, 2007 أخبار الامة الائلستية (Literally it translates to "News of the Ailestani Nation, !@#$%^&*uming that "الائلستية" is not an actual word, as it is a phonetic representation of "Ailestani".) The Office of Foreign Relations has agreed to day to honor limited cease-fire will all members who are not in clan Penis. Under such an agreement, all parties will agree not to carry out m!@#$%^&* attacks and sabotages of the other parties, yet are not bound to refrain from one-time raids for points. This is a risky manuever for Ailestan, as the people of Rootania are clearly infidels who are smuggling bacon into our country. However, due to the size of clan Penis, most government officials consider this a prudent course of action.ROFL Everyone is scared of my Penis It's too big!
Falcoknight Posted May 3, 2007 Report Posted May 3, 2007 *Falcoknight adds everyone in n1 to Falconia's hit list for when the attacks begin*
jacob hunter! Posted May 3, 2007 Report Posted May 3, 2007 ......................... wth falc don;t attack penismembers though......
Falcoknight Posted May 3, 2007 Report Posted May 3, 2007 /me wonders if many people are banking all their crap right now for whatever reason, as it is the only thing that would explain to me the ludicrously massive gap between my own stats and Synooks (Who is in third place)
Aileron Posted May 4, 2007 Author Report Posted May 4, 2007 أخبار الامة الائلستية The government announced today that today is "Hide in Your Basement Day". We celebrate the day the Prophet Makingthisupasigoalong hid in a cave for 40 months to hide from various infidel armies. Citizens should not be concerned about various countdowns that may or may not be sounding off at various military installations. Such countdowns are completely normal. Whatever the case, the !@#$%^&* is definitely NOT going to hit the fan in oh, say, two hours and 50 minutes. Armageddon is not happening. Carry on, but hide in your basement or celler or whatever. Nothing is going to happen la la la. *innocent whistle*
rootbear75 Posted May 4, 2007 Report Posted May 4, 2007 (edited) T - 01:08:00 remaining Edited May 4, 2007 by rootbear75
Suicide_Run Posted May 4, 2007 Report Posted May 4, 2007 (edited) News of Suicide Run's Nation As time of peace is about to end, preparations has been made to start arming soldiers grenades and other types of explosive long range weapons. Children and women of the nation has been strapped with metal balls and wears a vest that is made and contains explosive materials to make them into living walking land mines. They will be used as bait against the enemies of Penis in a hope that the enemies wont fire at the children/women till its too late. As the Clan Penis' Head Development Nation, we have developed the technology to cause the population to reproduce at a rapid rate and the growth cycle has been shortened to increase the never ending demand for Cannon Fodders. Edited May 4, 2007 by Suicide_Run
Falcoknight Posted May 4, 2007 Report Posted May 4, 2007 After Falconia swiftly and successfully invades Ailestan, robbing them of millions, raping their women, and burning their homes, they stop by several other provinces on their journey home for some more small looting and pillaging. Unfortunately, once home, they were caught off guard by a surprisingly powerful revenge attack by the forces of Ailestan. While the monetary losses were minimal, Falconia's reckless pursuit of the Ailestan forces resulted in the loss of 21 troops, while only killing four of the Ailestan s!@#$%^&*bags. Overall a successful night for Falconia, with getting a small bit of money fit for maintaining #1 in all ranks (Except attack.. The crazy radical Ailestan suicide bombers have secured that rank) and very few casualties over all. Ailestan, Synook and Holes have all become major targets of Falconia.
rootbear75 Posted May 4, 2007 Report Posted May 4, 2007 (edited) GOOD NEWS:A local captain of the EBA based in Rootania has reported that he has cracked down on the bacon smuggling to Ailestan, and that the bacon being smuggled in should be cut down almost 100%. BAD NEWS: The same captain has reported that the interrogation of the ring leaders has yielded another few rings of bacon smugglers based out of both Falconia and Davantis. Edited May 4, 2007 by rootbear75
Aileron Posted May 4, 2007 Author Report Posted May 4, 2007 أخبار الامة الائلستية The Office of Foreign Relations of the Democratic People's Republic and Definitely Not a Theocratic Dictatorship of Ailestan participated in a "goodwill tour" acrossed several Penis Alliance lands. Destinations were Falcoknight, attraction, LiDDiS, Keiver, Suicide Run, JDS, and Animate Dreams. This tour of diplomacy emphasised the nature of the relationship that exists between Ailestan and Penis clan members. It is doubtfull however that the Penis clan will send any "amb!@#$%^&*adors" to Ailestan in the recent future, as the "talks" were quite effective.
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