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Posted

*I walk up to Chuck Norris holding a puppy*

*I implode as Chuck sends little roundhouse kicks to my brain through his steely gaze*

*The Puppy melts*

*The moral? Never walk up to Chuck holding a puppy. Chuck hates cute.*

 

-The movie 'Armageddon' is actually based on the last time Chuck Norris masturbated.

Posted

Greased, I'm not quite sure that last joke obeyed this topic's rules about PG-13 content only....oh well.

 

*sneaks into nearby army base and steals a tank*

*drives tank up to Chuck Norris*

*blasts Chuck Norris with the main turret gun*

*when the dust settles, all that remains is a smoking crater*

 

"Woot! I beat Chuck Norris" *starts celebrating by dancing around in stupid ways*

 

*Chuck Norris suddenly steps out from behind the tank and knocks me down with a single punch*

*Chuck Norris then loads me into the cannon and shoots Iran's nuclear reactor*

 

*Chuck Norris receives a Nobel Peace Prize for averting a potential international incident.*

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